GOD'S GIFT OF SEX

Sex is God's gift to married couples. He created it. He gave it to the birds, the bees, the flowers, the fish, the lions, and the butterflies -- and he called it "good." When God created humans, he created them also "male and female." He gave them sex, not just for reproduction, but also for strengthening of the relationship between husband and wife through the development of emotional intimacy and emotional bonds as sex is enjoyed together. Sex is like a built-in recreational activity, an adventure that the two of you experience together. This adventure can evolve through the years as you develop trust in and learn from each other.

You are married -- you have a "license to drive." Now he wants you to enjoy it, for that is how the emotional bonding occurs.

So now, when you are with your man, realize that sex has a purpose (to bind you and your husband together), that you have met God's qualification to use it (you are married), and that he wants you to enjoy it (so that its intended purpose can be achieved) -- then forget everything. Forget that you are an employee, a homemaker, a wife, or mother of three children. Forget the dirty dishes in the kitchen, the floors that need vacuumed -- you're not the homemaker any more. You are stripped down to the bare essence of femaleness. Forget all the hype about sex. Forget about everything except being female, and let it take over. Now, you are the female wanting and being wanted by the male, two halves of the universe coming together in the most ancient and universal dance -- just as God intended. Enjoy it. Let yourself go. It's okay now. Dance. Your enjoyment of it is good for both you and your husband.

HOW TO PLEASE A MAN

When it comes to physical intimacy, men and women are different not only morphologically, but also emotionally. Those differences, if understood and responded to appropriately, are what make physical intimacy both pleasurable and powerful in marriage.

Okay, let's not beat around the bush. All that is really required to please a man sexually under most circumstances is to directly stimulate his penis, using any part of your body. He generally doesn't mind getting directly to the point. He usually doesn't take much warming up. You can grab and massage him at almost any time, and he will enjoy it. Take advantage of the simplicity of the process and use it often. Men also, of course, are very visually oriented, and like to see their women dressed attractively, looking fit, healthy and happy, and behaving provocatively. While you are having sex with him, you can also heighten his pleasure by talking sexy. This helps him focus on the pleasure, and helps him to feel understood. Tell him how enjoyable you know it is for him, or how enjoyable it is for you. Be vocal about the pleasure you are feeling, with sounds as well as words.

Be the aggressor sometimes. It will take the pressure off your mate and allow him to enjoy you more. A man loves variety and adventure. Try new things occasionally.

ACHIEVING ORGASM

To achieve orgasm, you need to be relaxed, willing, and experience prolonged (perhaps 10, 20 or 30 minutes) stimulation of the clitoris. It will help if you are not too tired and if you can get everything else out of your mind and just enjoy the love play. While your clitoris is being stimulated, focus your mind on some imaginary object or fantasize about a pleasant, even sexual, experience with your husband. This will help you to relax and enjoy the sexual pleasure. It can also help if you or your husband stimulates one or both of your nipples while your clitoris is being stimulated. There are other things you can do to help. You can educate your husband on the movements and degree of pressure that are most pleasurable. Use plenty of lubricant so that the caresses do not become unpleasant. Rhythmically move your hips, pressing your clitoris against some firm part of his body (his erect penis, his pubis, lower leg, hand, etc.) so that you are in more control of the pressure and movements. He will likely find this to be enjoyable as well. Continue until you reach orgasm or for as long as it is enjoyable. Don't try too hard. You are more likely to get there if you enjoy the journey.

Remember that sex is a journey that you enjoy together with your mate. Enjoy it while you are learning new things.

MAKE HIM THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

Shape up, dress up, put on some makeup, and smile. There are many things you can do to make yourself attractive to your man. You can also use sexual pleasure to make your body more attractive to him. Men are especially suggestible while experiencing erotic pleasure. Use that to your advantage. While he is feeling intense pleasure, say, in a sexy voice, things such as "You have a pretty girl, don't you?" "You like my curves, don't you?" He'll be inclined to believe you, and will probably feel greater pleasure just by hearing you say it.

What a man sees while he is feeling pleasure may become associated with that pleasure in his mind (i.e., it becomes visually attractive). Use this law to make yourself more attractive to your husband. Let him look at you while you are being physically intimate with him. Also, take plenty of opportunities to flirt, flaunt, dress suggestive, dance for him, etc. All of these behaviors from you will be interpreted by his subconscious mind as an invitation to physical pleasure. The subconscious anticipation of that pleasure itself will hit his brain with an immediate burst of pleasure. When this happens, connections form in his brain between what he is seeing and what he is feeling. That is, the particular form of your body becomes, for him, more attractive. The natural benefit of this law is that, in a well-functioning marriage, a man's wife will continue to be visually attractive to him even as she ages and changes in appearance.

It is also important that you let him see your naked or partly naked body only when he is being sensually stimulated in some way. You can provide the sensual stimulation by flirting with him with your words, body language, touch or apparel. This will help keep your exposed body fresh and exciting to him because it will always be associated with pleasure in his mind. On the other hand, if you let him see too much of your body while you are slouching around, complaining, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, or doing anything else that is unpleasant or neutral for him, your body will lose some of its novelty and pleasurable associations, and become less visually exciting to him.

TRYING NEW THINGS

Sex was made for reproduction, but also for enjoyment in marriage. When used properly, it brings a man and woman closer together because of the mutual enjoyment.

There are two rules that determine whether a sexual activity is appropriate in marriage.

First, it must be exclusive to the marital relationship. It must directly involve both husband and wife, even if one is involved only as a spectator, and no other person. Any sexual activity that involves any person other than the husband or wife is likely to weaken mutual desire and trust in the marriage relationship. Sex that is solitary is also undesirable because it takes energy from the marital sexual relationship.

Second, it must not be harmful to the marital relationship. It must be safe in both a medical and a psychological sense. In addition, it should be either enjoyed by both partners, or enjoyed by one and neutral (not distasteful or painful) to the other.

If something he wants to try meets these two criteria, give it generous consideration. You may come to enjoy it with time and experience, and allowing him to enjoy it may be very beneficial to the relationship.

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